Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Attica, Attica

It's June 26th and I almost missed this month's entry for People We Need To Kill.

But Jerry Sandusky was just found guilty of 45 counts of child molestation and I think we can all agree that adults who use minors  for their own sexual gratification deserve a little Jeffrey Dahmer justice.

Well, almost.

You see that's an easy position. And I could go off on Sandusky, his soapy shower games, his cavalier attitude and the integrity-challenged Penn State Administrators who looked past his indiscretions. But that road has already been travelled. By pundits much more scholarly than me.

Today, I'd like to come to the defense, that's right defense,  of a child molester, Megan Crafton, a perky 22-year old cheerleading coach from Shelbyville (which the more astute of you will recognize as the adjacent town to Springfield, home of Homer Simpson).

According to an article in the Huffington Post, Megan is accused of going downtown with an Indiana high school basketball player. Normally it is not a problem for a cheerleader to encourage a player to work the low post, however in this case the baller is only 17 years old.

This story raises questions on so many fronts.

First, why didn't I go out for the high school basketball team?

Second, what kind of idiot goes running to the authorities with the news of an ill-gotten hummer?

And finally, how does this posting qualify for the People We Need to Kill?

I can't answer the first two questions, but in my mind the legal eagles in Shelbyville, Indiana who have recklessly shirked their fiduciary duties and now want to put Megan in an orange jumpsuit should certainly be thinned from the herd.

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