Penny for your thoughts

Perhaps it's appropriate, but I spent the better part of President's Day, engaged in some very optimistic Numastics. That is, the examination and valuation of coins, many bearing the likeness of our long deceased forefathers.

Turns out that while going through my garage and the mixed bag of belongings my cranky uncle has deeded to me -- by sheer forfeit -- I stumbled upon a plastic cup full of pennies, nickels, dimes and grimy quarters. 

In total, about 30 coins.

Additionally, while sifting through my closet, I stumbled on a keepsake box and discovered another stash of coins collected by my father-in-law Bob Weinblatt, the very uncranky Bob Weinblatt, including a commemorative Pearl Harbor coin. I believe that while in the Navy, Bob served there in post-war late 1940's.

I've watched enough reality TV shows and harbored enough Ralph Kramden-like fantasies to believe perhaps one of these little slivers of less-than-shiny metal could be worth beaucoup bucks. 

So I did what any 2023 Man of Leisure would do. I downloaded a free app -- CoinScan or CoinWorth or FatChance -- to see what I was holding. 

It's pretty simple. You point the iPhone camera at the coin, both sides, and the app spits back an estimated value.

You can imagine my surprise when the first sooty dime, ten cents in US legal tender, could fetch a whopping $4.59 on the open Numastic Market. If my math is right, and lately, due to excess coffee drinking or the early onset of old man senility, it hasn't been, that's a 460% increase!

That was just the first coin.

Surely amongst these highly collectible coins, that were nonchalantly stored in a dentist's plastic rinse cup, there'd be a big, big winner worth thousands, nay, millions of dollars. And surely, you know nothing of my life, even after reading more than 3000 posts here on RoundSeventeen. Because that kind of mighty windfall and magnificent luck just doesn't happen to me.

Moreover, it's off-brand. 

Siegels don't win things. In fact, we're the kind of people who visit the local bodega or supermarket and end up standing in front of the people who DO buy winning lottery tickets.

"Oh, you just have a banana and a bag of chips? Why don't you go before me."

Granted, I didn't go through every coin. I know I just don't have to. Besides, I had important stuff to do, like overstuffing the washing machine, vacuuming the stairs, emptying the dishwasher and picking up Lucy's backyard fertilizing gifts. 

All the kind of chores that would be best performed by my new butler, Edward. But I don't have a new butler Edward, because the $13.98 I have in old coins is only worth about $97.28. 

Tops.