On Influencing

As many R17 readers know, I was recently laid off from Honey. Many people also don't know what Honey is, so for clarification purposes, it's a division of PayPal that automatically tracks down internet promo codes and saves you money while you're shopping online. And it's free!

See PP, I'm still hawking for you. 

You're welcome.

In any case, it's time, whether I like it or not, to figure out the next phase of my life. And what I, as a 65 year old man, who has somehow made a living being a professional smart ass, is going to do for money.

As I have stated on many occasion, I refuse to end up in a dirty nursing home. And should I live as long as Methusalah, will write copy as long as need so I don't find myself doing chair yoga and gumming soggy nursing home vegetable lasagna.

Several weeks ago, I floated the idea of starting a podcast. I've been the guest on several podcasts and had a good time shooting the shit with hosts and spouting off my lame-ass opinions. Why anyone would listen to them is beyond me and a great mystery akin to how our former president's frontal hair deck remains aloft?

However, if you are looking for an entertaining and informative podcast about the movies we all loved and grew up on, you can do no better than listening to The Rewatchables hosted by the inimitable Bill Simmons. 

You'll find out more about him, here. 

And you'll thank me afterwards.

I also considered monetizing this semi-daily tripe and migrating this blog onto SubStack. But for the same reason I abhor birthday parties, suspect nobody will attend and whatever money I make wouldn't buy me a crunchy, overrated taco from nearby Titos.

But let's be honest, the last thing this world needs is another podcast or another blogger trying to cash in on his or her's miniscule equity.

And that's when it occurred to me to become an Influencer. 

Hear me out on this. 

I know, better than most, that there is an abundance of kids out there pimping everything from cauliflower crust pizza to permanent eyeliner makeup. I'm also aware that these Influencers often "receive" free stuff from eager purveyors not willing to market their goods via legacy media. Or with any meaningful marketing whatsoever. So they peddle their wares via homegrown "experts" who have never seen an 8 track cartridge or heard of Spiro Agnew.

Do you see the niche baring its bald head and greying beard?

There are NO influencers for older people. 

At least none I can find in my limited, half-ass research. And boomers and Gen X'ers are the fastest growing demographic in America. Plus, they have the most disposable income. I could show you a chart on that, but again...no.

Anyway, that's where yours truly comes in. I'm happy to fill that void. Joyfully critiquing products. Making recommendations. And going all hard-sell of stuff that makes my life better and keeps disposable income in my pocket.  

Of course, it goes without saying that in the process, I'd be taking receipt of all kinds of complimentary goodies geared for geezers like myself. Like orthopedic inserts, reading glasses, beard balm, anything and everything I find myself buying these days.

Taking my inspiration from Mr. Beast, I'm thinking of a snappy moniker and naming my new Influencer Enterprise: The Schnorrer.  

Thoughts?