Cool, clear water

Following last week's deep dive into my daughter's newly installed Tushy Bidet, one of the eight regular readers of RoundSeventeen suggested I bypass all that installation mishigas and get myself The Bum Gun.

The Bum Gun is stunning in its simplicity.

All I need to do is get another 3/8 inch T adaptor at my my local Lowe's Hardware Store; I could go to Home Depot but their CEO is a major right wing loonie and he won't be getting any more of DIY money.

Having successfully plugged in the adapter in my daughter's bathroom, my confidence level with this part of the operation is quite high. Then I'll need to attach some flexible tubing. Add a stylized nozzle that meets with my wife's approval. Then hang the apparatus on the wall. 

Unlike the picture above, I won't be drilling holes into any tiled wall. That's a recipe for Clunky Jewish Home Repairman disaster. The tile will crack. The grout will chip away. And I'll have a bathroom mess worse than any episode of explosive diarrhea.

Or my wife's remodeling rage.

Soon I'll be free from toilet paper and cleaning my nether regions with cool refreshing water. And unlike the standard settings on the immobile Tushy Bidet, I'll have the freedom and flexibility to get into all those annoying nooks and crannies. 

My bum will be cleaner than a hospital operating room.

This is in no way a knock on the Tushy Bidet. This is just the Siegels upping their Ass Hygiene Game. 

And speaking of Tushy, last week, as more of a lark, I forwarded my blog piece to the good folks at Tushy. Their PR people said it made their day. 

Lifestyle Influencer 101, complete.

And they wanted to show their appreciation. One, for my daughter requesting their ever popular Tushy 3.0 Classic bidet. And two, for writing about it.

So they sent me 2 T-shirts.

Suffice to say, the T-shirts are completely unwearable in public. 

By me and especially by my daughter.