All the little lies

I have a thick skin.

In fact everything on my body is thick. I have thick feet. I have thick fingers. Even my ear lobes are unusually beefy.

Having thick skin is a definite prerequisite for a life in advertising. Because ever since I started my career in the Creative Department, about 187 years ago,  I've been subjected to all manner of rejection.

"It's too negative. Does she have to be so angry?"

In this spot the woman's perfect wedding dress gets burnt to a crisp. She would be angry. I hate to get pedantic, but all drama is tension. That comes from the Bard, William Shakespeare. He knew a little about writing and capturing people's attention. But hey, if you want bland meaningless pablum, let's go for it. It's your dime.

"The copy is too long."

It's a double page spread and we're trying to sell a $100,000 luxury sports car to a very discerning audience. My guess is they want to be well informed about that type of purchase. Maybe we should run a few banner ads?

"It seems off brand."

Not only have I heard this from clients but also internally, from Planners and Strategerists, who are supposed to know better. What I find most amusing and quaint about a remark like this is the naive assumption that every product or service we sell has a Brand.

They don't.

We delude ourselves, and our clients, that there is some inviolable rules of engagement that dare not be crossed. Because to do so would be to desecrate some ethereal relationship between the consumer and the ________ brand. Holy horseshit that's some industrial grade naval gazing.

Apple has a brand.

Nike has a brand.

Porsche has a brand.

Mitsubishi, sorry, you don't have a brand.
Hell, I don't even think you have dealerships anymore.

The point is this, unless you're spending the money, keeping the promise and delivering at every touchpoint, you don't have a Brand. So let's not even use that word when discussing your next carousel ad on Instagram.