Pictured here, the Corflex Cryo Pneumatic Shoulder Orthosis with Reusable Gel Pack.
Mine arrived from Amazon ten days ago.
Six days ago, I figured out how to use it.
Use it?
What is it? I'm sure you're thinking.
As many of you know I have challenged myself to swim the equivalent distance of the English Channel in order to raise money for the Wounded Warrior Project. The swim commences on May 31st, Memorial Day and was detailed in last week's agencyspy.com. And though this effort is to raise money for a worthy cause it didn't stop one commenter, Tom 'Call me Douchebag' Positano, from making a douchey remark.
I was tempted to put this logic-impaired misanthrope in his place, but uncharacteristically chose the high road.
Tom ignorantly dismisses swimming 3 miles a day as mere exercise. For any of you non-swimmers with remaining doubts, I invite you to swim 3 continuous laps without gasping for oxygen. 3 miles for those of you unwilling to do the math is 210 lengths of the pool.
But back to the Corflex Cryo Pneumatic Shoulder Orthosis with Reusable Gel Pack. Which is just a longwinded way of saying ice pack. But the Corflex Cryo Pneumatic Shoulder Orthosis with Reusable Gel Pack is the Porsche of shoulder-specific ice packs. And for all the training miles I've been putting in the pool lately, I decided to treat myself.
Ergonomically designed to apply maximum ice exposure to the rotator cuff, it comes equipped with three industrial-strength straps fashioned from the finest Velcro. The anatomically shaped ice-pack insert contours the shoulder and is composed of quick freezing, state of the art nitrogen-based hydro- compounds. But what separates the Corflex Cryo Pneumatic Shoulder Orthosis with Reusable Gel Pack from other shoulder wraps is the easily inflatable air bladder that enables the user to apply the ice with additional pressure.
Mmmmm, pressure.
In case you can't tell, I'm absolutely verklempt about my new toy.
In fact, I'm wearing it right now.
I think the full torso shot used in the catalogue picture does it more justice. And I would offer you a better shot of the Corflex Cryo Pneumatic Shoulder Orthosis with Reusable Gel Pack, but my daughter say it makes me look like I have man boobs.
Actually what she said was, "It makes your man boobs even boobier."
Brutal honesty, alive and well at the Siegel household.
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