A Stash of White Trash

Every once and awhile my buddy Greg will send me a link detailing some of the crazy shenanigans going on in his home state of Tennessee. Invariably these Darwinian antics involve a power tool, some home brewed moonshine,  and a cast of snaggle-toothed characters that barely make it into the double digit IQ range.

But when it comes to trashy white trash behavior, the Volunteer State would be best advised to voluntarily drop out of the competition and hand the cubic zirconium-encrusted crown to its kissing cousin on the east, West Virginia.

Recently I watched The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. Now I don't make a habit of recommending movies, but this is must see material. There are stabbings, gunshots, misspelled tattoos, Xanax-snorting, more stabbings, incest, and tap dancing. You know how certain things in life are mesmerizing, like jugglers, car wrecks and derailed locomotives. Think of this film as a Japanese bullet train filled with Suzukis and clowns flying off the track at 300 mph.

It's that bad. It's that good.

The movie has a certain palliative quality. You can't watch this film and not feel better about your own life. Whether you've been laid off, whether you're feeling fat, whether your washing machine sprung a leak and flooded your basement, whether you turned over your entire 401K plan to a crafty Nigerian, at least you're not living in Boone County and at least your last name is not White.

I know my buddy Greg and my other buddy Joe take pride in Tennessee, but I'm sorry, your home state is gonna have to hit that pipe pretty hard to get back on track and keep up with the likes of the Whites and of  Gary Thompson, who was just awarded the state's highest honor for animal husbandry.