Bless the stupid

Was having a chat with my friend/fellow father/fellow landsman/fellow copywriter/fellow blogger/fellow observer of human nature, the other day. It was not unlike many chats we've had before. Perhaps you've had the same with the sane people you know.

"How can there be so many stupid people in this country that can't see him for what he is? Why do they  want this ignorant rapist/grifter/adulterous/document-stealing convicted felon to ascend to the highest office in the land?"

I know this question gets asked everyday, from Portland, Maine to Portland, Oregon. Only in Oregon it's often followed by...

"Hey, we forgot to burn some sage in the laundry room."

To be completely frank about the question, there is no answer. And all the head scratching in the world will not explain this man's Svengali-like affect on the millions who adore him. His ear bandage. His diapers. His sneakers. His worthless NFT trading cards. And now his new $100K "gold" watch. Seen here with the amended Tiny Hands.

I know, I have to work on my photoshop skills.

So people can't afford bacon or their kid's daily intake of 24 eggs, but they sure as hell are willing to empty out their retirement accounts in order to wear the Trump label on their wrist?

I don't get it. And 2/3 of the country also doesn't get. And so I saw no point pursuing this line of discussion with Jeff.

But it did occur to me that if not for the masses and masses of stupid people in this country, the ones who claim Olive Garden has the best Italian food or that the moon landing was faked with CGI  (ignoring the fact that CGI wouldn't be around for another 35 years), I would surely be headed to a dirty nursing home.

In fact, Jeff and I, who both made a living in the once-lucrative advertising business, ought to be grateful for the exceptional American stupidity.

"Chesterfield preferred by 9 out of 10 doctors who smoke cigarettes."

"Now with 23% more Retsin"

"Wassssssuuuuuuuuppppppp"

"Jardiance, the little pill with the big story to tell"

"Liberty, Liberty, Liberty...................Liberty."

And for that I am grateful. 

Thank you Stupid People. Not for bringing our Democracy -- I'm sorry, Constitutional Republic -- to the precipice of extinction. But for providing me with a career in smart-assery and avoiding that institutional mattress and the even more detestable nursing home food.

If not for the stupid, I might have remained driving that damn forklift at the industrial wire cable warehouse in Compton, CA. Although by now I like to think I would have been promoted into forklift management.

Thank you stupid people. Please stay home on November 5th.