Wednesday, August 7, 2024

Adventures in Carlson Park


Believe it or not, there is a 3 Bedroom, 2 bathroom house behind this enormous tree, whose wingspan measures more than 75 feet across, the width of the entire 8,000 square foot lot.

Until recently, there was an older couple, with their cat and 4 dogs, living there. Sometimes it was 3 dogs. And sometimes it was 2. It was a very fluid situation. 

My next door neighbor as well as Ms. Muse, accuse me of being a modern day Edna Kravitz, I'll let you Google that reference. But the truth is I like to think of myself as "environmentally aware." 

And why not? I spend a lot of time at my house. It's my biggest asset, not that I'll ever sell it and see that equity. But it is my best guarantee of never ending up in a Dirty Nursing Home, my worst nightmare.

"Mr. Siegel, try one more sip of pureed broccolini. It's so goooood."

My other nightmare would be to live like the people in this house did. 

I say did, because they were recently evicted after the house changed ownership from a foreclosure. The good news is the couple, a man and woman in their 70's, were relocated to an apartment via social services. At least from what I hear from the new owners who are skinning the house down to the bones.

The bad news is what the new owner found inside, including enough junk to stuff a landfill. Or two. 

The crew of workers (most likely immigrants, you know stealing those primo jobs from eager young Americans) were there for weeks. Hauling off countless trucks, packed to the gills with old refrigerators, dog bowls (maybe even dog carcasses) and ratty couches that even JD Vance would say, "no thanks" to.

I'm glad this eyesore will no longer be.

Am I happy?

Well, happiness, like time, is a construct.

In other news I now have TWO neighbors fond of letting their barking dogs out at 2, 3 or even 4 in the morning. 

Who does that? 

More puzzling was their similar response. 

Let me preface this by saying, if someone came to my door and had an issue with me, my dog or any type of disturbing noise coming from my abode, my initial reaction would be of distress. Followed by a passionate promise that it would NEVER happen again. EVER. Because I am a considerate person.

When it was pointed out to my neighbors, both of them, that I was being rudely awakened at the oddest hours of the morning, I was told, "they're barking at the squirrels, I'll see what I can do."

You'll see what you can do, how fucking generous.

This is why we can't have nice things.

Also, you'll see what I can do...




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