Fore!!!!

I'm a self-admitted pot stirrer. Not just here at home as I've done hurling daily poo-poo at our wannabe Dictator and the witless fascists who support and enable him, but also on the world stage. 

That's delusions of grandeur and three cups of coffee talking.

Years before the Fourth Reich began arising in America, I had another dictator in my cross hairs -- Kim Jong Un. Many of you may remember my site: KimJungFun.tumblr.com. Tumblr is gone, whatever that means in computer lingo, but my many years of poking fun at the world's greatest golfer remain.

If you have 97 hours or so, I suggest you dig in for much hilarity, like this:

I bring this up, not only for my own self aggrandizement, but also because I recently received an invitation via LinkedIn, to visit the Korean Peninsula for a first hand look at the world's most demented, yet fascinating country. I can't imagine why Chad sent me this invite other than the algorithm, which also insultingly sends me many links to weight loss products.

Here's Chad's missive:

Holy crap, a personal invitation from the Ministry of Disinformation. 

That was as good as a love letter from the Little Fat Man himself. Soon I could be whisked away to the Pyongyang Palace and dining on pickled sea cucumbers and briny barnacles hand plucked off sunken warships of the mighty North Korean Navy.

How lucky was I?

Then I read a little further and discovered the entire tour was not actually IN North Korea. It was what Chad, my soon-to-be tour guide, called a Near Distance Tour.

Wait, what? 

If I were to strap myself in to a Happy Mood Airways (serving North Korea for 52 years) and fly 8000 miles aboard a decrepit 707 and engage my fascination for failed communist infrastructure and hyperbolic bureaucratic bloviation I'd damn well want to set foot on the actual golf course where Dear Leader shot a 38. In fact I'd insist on having a go off one of the 11 tees (all Par 3's I'm assuming) where he notched a hole in one!

Sadly, this is not that vacation. 

Nor will it be my opportunity to dip strawberries (with Kim) from his majestic 10 foot high chocolate waterfall. The only working machinery within 200 miles of Pyongyang.

This is North Korea from afar, which if common sense and my safety dictate, must remain that way -- afar.