"We go from pigeon pose right into backward lizard."

According to my doctor there is only so much Tylenol or Advil a body can take. In addition to building up a tolerance for the stuff, it's generally not good for the liver and kidneys, which, in my case, has already take enough abuse.

While we're on the topic of pain medication, I'm now kicking myself in the pants for throwing out my late uncle's secret stash of morphine to ease the daily old man aches. Those tiny blue heroin-adjacent pills scared the hell out of me.

Of course if I could kick myself in the pants, I probably wouldn't be diving head first into the Peloton Beginner's Yoga program. 

But I can't, so I am.

It may be too early in the morning for uncomfortable imagery, but I'm no stranger to Yoga. In fact, fifteen years and fifty pounds ago, I embarked on Power Yoga as part of the Tony Horton's P90X. I worked that program faithfully for three straight months and the only thing I lost was a hundred bucks and some gym shorts that split in two when I attempted the same.

Suffice it to say Yoga is not the stocky, or even the formerly-stocky, person's friend. 

This is best illustrated by the late Chris Farley...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYB3Fx0a8-4

I came to enjoy the Tony Horton Power Yoga, if only for the respite from the rigorous parts of the regimen which involved Burpees, Leg Lifts and Chin Ups. The pull up bar, which I cleverly fashioned from 1inch thick steel piping material  is also a known foe of the overfed.

I also came to appreciate Tony's no nonsense approach to the benefits of Yoga. As well as his instructive method. 

I'm not a particularly woo-woo or crunchy kind of guy. I'm from NYC and upstate New York. Hence much of the "wisdom" being imparted by the Peloton teachers tends to go over my head. 

Or stick in my craw.

"Allow the oxygen to come into your lungs and all the way down to your quads."

"Bring in the light of the stars into your soul."

"Hold the stretch and feel all of its grace."

Yeah, right.

Nevertheless, he persisted. 

I'm staying with it. Not because I enjoy it. There's really nothing enjoyable about contorting one's body into shapes and positions that would be difficult for even the stretchiest of octopi. The reward comes later, or so I'm told by Ms. Muse who stands 5'9" tall and almost all of it leg. She's a natural at this stuff. And never lets me forget it.

But as I discovered late in life, it's always best to get out of one's comfort zone. As I have also discovered, when it comes to yoga, I don't have a comfort zone. 

Yet.

Namaste.