That time we almost went to band camp

Right now, as you're reading this, some young (they're all young) NYC art director or copywriter or content creator is busy packing a suitcase full of white Capri pants and overpriced Fedoras for a big trip to France next week. 

Not just France, Cannes. Go ahead try to say that out loud without sounding like a pretentious snot.

You can't. 

I can't and I've been writing  -- whining -- about the place ever since I learned my partner and I were disinvited to go there in the late 90's, where surely we might have won a trinket or two. Which would hardly have made up for the permanent damage that voyage would have been done to my liver.

On the other hand I'm glad I didn't go, because I'm a terrible flyer (still). Moreover, I would have been forced to spend inordinate time with the same agency brass ass who wanted us disinvited. I've never been good hiding my I'm-disgusted-with-you Face.

Nevertheless, it would have been an opportunity to revel in the world's greatest advertising never seen by the world. Mostly because it came from Brazil. And even more mostly, because it never ran.

And while I'm by no means an ad nerd -- you'd know if you were-- it still would've been fun.

But that was close to 30 years ago. Before Martin Sorrell and gang got on the bogus ad tech train. Aided and abetted the demise of print advertising. Fired anyone over 50. Then 40. Then 37.5. And then stripped the agencies for every last thin dime they could squeeze from the joints. 

And they never fixed the copy machine. Never.

But now, I have to ask, what are they celebrating? What are they awarding? And who even cares?

Silver-worthy Subject Lines?

Gold-worthy Banner Ads?

Titanium-worthy Referral Cards?

"The Lion for Best CTA under 19 characters goes to 'Buy it Fuckface', let's bring back the team from Brazil for their 23rd Lion."

I could go on about the pathetic devolvement of our once-thriving industry. But as more evidence of my personal growth, I've decided to go another direction. Towards the light. A very bright light that gives me hope for the business, the same business my daughters have decided to pursue.

I miss work like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CbPljOAEQU&t=2s

You know that last word should have been Damnit!!!!