Monday, May 6, 2024

A way over Yondr

 


Almost had another senior moment get the best of me last Friday. Ms. Muse and I had tickets to go see Jon Stewart (& friends) at the Greek Theater. I was told afterwards that the tickets were actually a late Valentine's Day gift. 

Doh.

Prior to going, Ms. Muse noted that the event was to be phone-free, meaning no electronics or smart (not-so-smart) devices in the theater, at the request of the artists. OK, I thought, I'm tired of watching people watching their iPhones during a live performance. It's kind of pathetic and insulting to the rest of us who want to be "in the moment." 

Fine, I continued thinking, I was on a hot streak, we'll leave the phones at home and almost began the tortuous 45 minute drive to hilly, windy Silverlake, sans electronic devices. Only at the last minute did I realize -- thank you technology -- that the tickets for the show were actually ON the iPhone. 

Had we returned home to get the tickets we would have missed the first two "comedians", which actually might have been a blessing.

The resolve? 

Say hello to the Yondr bag, a kevlar-knitted bag with a specially designed magnetic locking device. I was skeptical at first, picturing lines longer than those at Mammoth Mountain after a 12 inch dump of fresh powder.

But what do I know? Very little apparently. 

We arrived. Waited two minutes to reach the entry, placed our electronica in the small pouch and were directed to our nosebleed seats, just a few rows in front of the hoot owls who perch themselves in the canyons above the venue.

After the show (a mini-review is coming) we waded through the lily-white crowd to relieve ourselves of the outrageously expensive watery drinks and headed for the egress. 

Again, I thought, before dealing with the 10 mile long snake of Teslas and beamers squeezing through one Exit Gate (If you've been to the Greek or the Bowl or Dodger Stadium or any other venue in Los Angeles that is unexplainably not serviced by any Metro trains, you know) I had calculated another exhausting long wait to get the Yondr bag opened so we could be reunited with our digital friend who we hadn't seen or heard from in THREE HOURS! 

But that was not the case. The Yondr folk, about 100 of them were situated all around the theater and opened the bags in a snap. Literally.

The mishegas I anticipated was no mishegas at all. In fact, dealing with Yondr process was a lot more informative and entertaining than many of the comics on stage. Sadly that included Sarah Silverman who sleepwalked through her set. Or had underestimated the strength of the gummy she had eaten just an hour before the show. 

Thankfully, Jon Stewart saved the night. And brilliantly riffed on getting old (Hello), our upcoming election - though I wish he spent a little more time picking apart the ex Precedent Shitgibbon, whose improved treatise on Gettysburg still has me awestruck - and finishing up with a brilliant apples and oranges comparison of Hebraic holidays and Non-Hebraic holidays. Who wants some charosses?

Articulately demonstrating that no one makes fun of Jews better than Jews making fun of Jews. 

It's a gift.

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