Show Me My Money

I am of a certain age. 

I fall asleep before 11 PM. I make three nocturnal trips to the bathroom. And conversations with similar friends of a certain age, inevitably revolve around aches, pains and a whole assortment of medical maladies. Often delving into uncomfortably graphic TMI.

The other discussion that takes up much of our precious little time left, is the topic of Social Security and the optimum time to let the government know we'd like our money back.

My friend, let's call him Arnie Rolaids, is planning on waiting until he is 70 to max out his numbers. He's working now, though on certain days when it's raining, snowing, or the subways in NYC are running impossibly slower than our judicial system, he wishes he weren't.

I also wish he weren't working so we could see each more often.

My work, like my cash flow, is almost non-existent. Like critical thinking in the GOP. I'm eating ramen noodles and ketchup packet sandwiches until September when I can open up the SS floodgates and make it rain. Figuratively speaking, of course. 

Mmmmmm, ramen.

As someone descended from accountants and because I have now covered all 97 trillion square miles of the internet, I decided it was time to math this out. Mind you, I have no background in taxes nor am I aware of any and all legal implications. I present this in the same manner our former president presented all his financial disclosures...  

The following calculations are estimates and should not be expected to be entirely accurate, truthful or in any way subject to further examination. You are on your own for this. Should you have any questions, please direct them to my fine attorneys at Powell, Wood and Giuliani, LLC.

With that out of the way, alas.

Option A. Let's say I retire at 67 years old and become eligible for my benefits at $3000/month. 

Option B. Let's also say I decide to wait until I'm 70 years old and claim benefits at $4000/month.

That's $1000 difference per month. 

With Option A, I would collect 3 years (36 months) of my benefits. That's 36 months X $3000. For $108,000.

With Option B, I would collect $0 in those 36 months of waiting, but would start collecting $1000 more a month every month thereafter.

In order to make up the difference with Option B, I would have to live 108 more months past the age of 70 to start realizing any net difference. 108 months is 11 years. That's 81 years old.

And that's assuming I did nothing with the $108,000. Or stupidly sunk the money into crypto. Or purchased some fantasy politically themed NFT trading cards or gold plated sneakers.

Seems like a no brainer to me. 

Also, what am I going to do with an extra $1000? By the time I reach 81 years of age my brain will be mush -- like my food. I will have stopped getting the answers right on Jeopardy and asking the sticky fingered orderly to put on Wheel of Fortune.

"Big Money, Big Money!!!"