Full Speed Ahead

This is the Russian Troika -- a unique equinal configuration that allegedly produced speeds unmatched in its time. Note how the two outside horses have turned sideways so that they may spot wolves. Or Nazis. or both.

Why do I bring the troika to your attention? Because as of late it's been brought to mine.

Years ago, during the leaner, less flush years of my freelance career, I was contacted by the Troika Media group and contracted to do a little job for them. Don't ask me the details of the gig because I don't have a clue. In the same way you wouldn't have a clue what Troika does, or did, according to their LinkedIn blurb. 

Behold...

That's the kind of business "writing" that will short circuit a temporal lobe or two. 

The Troika has come back into my life because despite their ability to deliver "resilient brand equity" (?) they have fallen on hard times and landed in bankruptcy court. And I've been asked if I'd like to join the class action lawsuit against Troika in order to settle any debtor claims.

I'd love to get in on that action and pick up a discarded stapler, some Pendaflex files and maybe a Herman Miller knockoff chair. The problem is I'd have to produce documentation. 

And lots of it.

If memory serves, and often times it doesn't, the Troika folk had me over a barrel for $3000. You work 20 some add years as a freelance copywriter, you're bound to hit a few speed bumps, including the English-challenged Troika people who won't pay their bills.

So yes, I'd love to recoup my Three Large. 

But here's the other thing, while the details and dates of this unfortunate experience escape me, the mirror in my bathroom doesn't. 

And there is NO WAY in the world I would have walked away from an unpaid $3,000 invoice. Let's not forget I'm the same guy who applied for club membership at Mara Lago for no other reason than to yank their chain. In other words, I'm sure I made it abundantly clear to the Troika people that I was not the kind of person they wanted to stiff.

Now that I'm working on my third cup of coffee and synapses are starting to fire, I believe I FedExed a letter to the CEO of Troika and told him I had a cousin working in the SDNY (and how hard is to believe that a guy named Siegel has a cousin who happens to be a lawyer) and that I'd be willing to drop a dime on his miserable "transformational business solutions partnership" if remuneration was not forthcoming.

The invoice for $3000 that went unpaid for 30 days, then 45 days, then 60 and then 90, was paid on the 91st day. The day after FedEx made their delivery.