An Open Letter to Nikki Haley

 

Dear Nimrada,

Congratulations on your victory in New Hampshire. You beat out 14 other hopefuls for the GOP Presidential nomination and now there is only one left in your crosshairs. With the next primary in South Carolina, the Hillbilly State...er, The Palmetto State, I'm here to suggest the timing could not be better for you.

Take the Killshot, Nikki.

I'll remind you that in 2019, a floundering Joe Biden resurrected his campaign in South Carolina. You don't need a resurrection, you simply need to build on the momentum you've built and a willingness to put the injured dog down. 

If you don't emerge victorious here, you won't have another opportunity. 

The good news is you have a month. You have the funds. And you have the campaign to beat Captain Ouchie Foot already written. 

By a stable genius, no less. 

Here's the deal Nancy Pelosi, Nancy Pelosi, Nancy Pelosi, you will not sway the hardcore Trumpsters. If he was right about one thing it's that he COULD shoot someone on 5th Avenue and not lose one of his supporters. In fact, he'd probably gain some if the person he shot was a POC, a woman, or a radical Communist/Fascist/Democrat/Tree Hugger. 

They are that deep into the Kool Aid.

But there are Republicans questioning the monster's mental capacity. And there are Independents who are on the fence. And there are people on their couches, who never vote, but just might do so to save our country from this babbling bag of bullshittery.

For a modest fee, I'll write and edit and produce the spots. It's what I do for a living and I can assemble a team of post production pros at the go with the drop of a check. Moreover I have catalogued all of his gaffes. Not just the recent ones about YOUR failure to secure the Capitol on January 6th. Or de-banking. Or "...solling problems because this institute is on a death penalty (???)"

I am a walking talking compendium of Precedent Shitgibbon's mental missteps: ramparts, paper roads, dead birds/whales and my favorite, "We gotta go back to steam on our aircraft carriers, Admiral. All this digital crap...you have to be an Einstein to operate this stuff."

I know it's silly for me to expect you to heed the advice of a political lightweight and outsider. But here's the thing, Nimrada, I have an uncle, ok, a cousin, a second or third cousin, who was really, really smart (I'm pointing to my head.) He was a PhD. Dr. John Siegel. A professor. He taught Political Science at Princeton. He was a great expert, a great brilliant genius. In other words, I got good genes.

As copywriter of more than 40 years, I also have words, I have the best words.

I await your instructions.

Best,

Rich