As the Wong Tolls Part 3

 

Because it's a holiday shortened week and because I've been having so much fun with Mr. Richard Wong, I've decided to publish Part 3 in this continuing and unfolding saga. 

In case you haven't been following, Mr. Wong reached out to me last week about a long lost inheritance from my great, great uncle Adrian. You can scroll back and read Parts I and II. Or pick up here, depends on how much flim flammery you want to consume.

Alas...

Dear Mr. Siegel,

I am going to get a competent Law firm to file an application on your behalf. I will discuss what needs to be done with them, pay for their services and then send you their details with instructions on how to introduce yourself. I will have them make a legal agreement between us to ensure that my part of the proceeds is secure. They will act as your representative and liaison between you, the High Court and the HSBC.

It is important that I have your consent before I consult a law firm because it will cost me. Can you please reconfirm that you understand the full text of my proposal and you are ready and willing to do this with me.

Regards,
Richard Wong.

Oh I understand. I'm not sure Mr. Wong does.

Dear Mr. Wong,

 

Not only do I understand the terms of your last correspondence, I enthusiastically give you my consent. I would love to get my hands on that $35 million worth of gold bullion as soon as possible. 

 

My 2012 Acura MDX needs new tires, as the tread is balder than a billiards ball. And my Audi needs a new battery. I don’t know what those Germans were thinking when they put $739 batteries in their automobiles, but they did. 

It’s like they’re always out to get me.

 

Just for my own peace of mind, I ran your proposal by my attorney, Brian Boitano, who works at Dewey, Cheatham and Howe. He found your proposal very attractive “in a very real and legally binding way.”

 

Naturally, I’ll have to wet his beak when the gold arrives.

 

He did have a word of caution about my cousin Morty. I don’t know what kind of ancestral research you conducted, but my cousin Morty can draw direct lineage to my great, great uncle Adrian. 

 

Moreover, ‘Mort-eeey’ (as he likes to pronounce it) is a very aggressive man. He was born with Polyorchidism, the details of which are again too graphic to discuss in a legal missive. Suffice it to say, his testosterone level is through the roof in the high 700’s.

 

I seek your counsel on this matter and hope you can keep him away from this found goldmine. 

 

In short, animus possisendi, let’s make this transaction happen. I look forward to hearing from you…

Best, 

Dirk (Richard) Siegel