I pity the fool.

The term Pity Party got a lot of play last week.

It was errantly used by the CEO of MillerKnoll, makers of overpriced aerodynamic chairs and other assorted furniture, in an address to employees who apparently needed to work harder. 

It's hard to take seriously the thoughts of a whiny CEO taking home seven digits worth of salary, stock options and free uncomfortable dining chairs. Especially one who is making upwards of 50-75 times what the average employee at MillerKnoll takes home every year.

In fact, it's hard to take seriously the words of 99.99% of CEOs these days, who are more concerned with managing their way upwards, instead of paying attention to the people they stepped on to slide into their mahogany cocoons.

And let's not even mention self-congratulatory CEO's -- a redundant phrase --  who foolishly threaten to take a $2500 bite out of customer's hides and then have to layoff substantial number of employees because of the resulting lost revenue. 

Nobody said Capitalism was fair.

But today, I want to conduct my own Pity Party. Not for me, mind you. I am acclimating nicely to my semi-retirement and in no way miss participating in what today's advertising business comically calls advertising.

It's not.

My pity extends to the people, creative people, legitimately talented people, who find themselves dotting the i's and crossing the t's on absolute garbage. Digital detritus that regularly arrives in email mailboxes across America and then, within nanoseconds, gets dutifully transferred to email trash boxes never to be seen again. 

Or even once.

I feel sorry for the folks wasting countless hours and zoom meetings laboring over insipid subject lines that can and probably were written by ChatGPT or Google's Bard. 

"Over 40% savings now in our Super Spring Sale."

"See the power drill the internet is talking about."

"18 things you never knew about air fryers."

And let's not forget those CTA's. 

There are Copywriters and Art Directors who spent years learning and honing their craft, with the proven ability to change the trajectory of a Fortune 500 company, now dicking around with shouty CTAs. And arguing with unlearned staffers who will say stuff like...

"I don't know ...DISCOVER MORE, doesn't seem like it's our brand tone of voice."

Pitiful.

If I were a grown adult, in the prime of my career, with a mortgage and three mouths to feed, in this ungodly situation, I'd be taking a serious look inside my medicine cabinet for a hasty and hopefully painless exit.

There were times, back in the 80's, 90's and early 2000's, when I thought, "advertising these days, sucks."

Boy, was I wrong.