We haven't even reached April Fool's Day and we're already talking about the next president, who won't get inaugurated (if we're still doing that sort of thing) until January 20, 2025.
Such is the sad state of American politics.
Even sadder is the fact that the leading GOP candidate, who would like to return to the throne, er....I mean the White House, is a twice-impeached, pornstar-banging, tax-cheating, election-tampering, document-stealing sack of shit who is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Russian government.
PS, if you're buying that "Russia, Russia, Russia" thing is a hoax, I suggest you read the Mueller Report. And acquaint yourself with the federal government hierarchy, where you will see the not-so independent Special Counsel works at the behest of POTUS. Meaning Mueller was handcuffed during the entire investigation.
On a slightly less pessimistic note, there is a possible presidential contender.
He's not exactly on the horizon, it's more like he is rising from the GOP cesspool of god-awful troglodytes. He's been in the news lately for his efforts to shield our precious children from the sight of a marble penis. He has no interest in shielding them from high caliber bullets however.
Though Mr. DeSantis graduated from Harvard, he seems a few candles short of a full menorah. So in the interest of public service, I'm offering a few campaign tips that might help him rise to the top of the GOP landfill of 2024 candidates. Make no mistake, I'm no fan of Ron. But consider him a lesser evil than Don.
Here are some no-brainer talking points he should lean into, should it come to a Donny v. Ronny contest :
1. The Insurrection -- This is some low-hanging fruit, Ron. Why didn't Trump call off the mob the minute they breached the first line? Why did he wait? Why did he refuse phone calls and answer texts while the attack was getting violent? Why on Jan.7, 2021, did he call these people heinous defilers of our country and then turn around and sing their praises and promise them pardons just 2 years later?
2. The Big Lie -- Mr. Trump declares there was "massive, widespread fraud." Where is it? What did he base this statement on? Was it because of Italian satellites? Jewish Space Lasers? Or Chinese Bamboo Ballots? Isn't more likely that the Most Powerful Man on Earth did not relish no longer being the Most Powerful Man on Earth? That's not leadership or patriotism or even American. That's some pure narcissistic horsecockery.
3. New HealthCare Plan -- In June 2020, Trump went on National TV and told Christopher Wallace he had a "big, new, beautiful healthcare plan that would be less expensive than Obamacare." He said he'd be unveiling it in two weeks. A month and a half later, he told George Stephanopolis, he would unveil the plan in two weeks again. It's now been more than 2 &1/2 years. Where is the plan? And if so good, why aren't you making it a pillar of your campaign?
4. Track Record -- This is a no-brainer. Let's be honest, these are all no-brainers. The previous president's track record is a litany of failure after failure. Like his bankrupt businesses. And his matrimonial endeavors. And while Trump liked to prance around on stage and boast of his "greatest economy in the history of the United States." The numbers prove otherwise. In fact, if his followers could read a simple graph or pie chart, they'd see that he never grew the GDP faster than a 2.9% growth rate. If you want to believe that's substantial than you have to give the same credit to President Obama, who hit that numbers on several occasions.
Similarly, his claim that he had the lowest unemployment rate in 50 years is also pure typical Trump hyperbolic bluster. Particularly since President Biden has also put up a 4.5% unemployment rate.
5. Sheer Stupidity -- I don't know why the GOP candidates running in 2016 never thought to do this, but it is abundantly clear Trump is stupid. Like Paris Hilton dumb. An observation backed by his former Chief of Staff General John Kelly, who often had to dispense remedial American history to the leader of the free world. This is a pain point. One that ought to be exploited.
Ron, should you find yourself in a debate with this clueless clod, why not ask him to quote the 6th amendment? Ask him to name three seminal Supreme Court cases. Have him point out the implications of Plessy v. Ferguson. Ask him to point to Lithuania on a map. Ask him to explain the Monroe Doctrine.
I will bet $130,000 he can't do any of the above.
In other words Ron, embarrass the fuck out this embarrassingly dumbfuck.
I can't do it all by myself.
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