Hoping for ROI

I'm an old guy who happens to be Old School as well. I don't have the data or the sophisticated ad tech that has both cheapened and destroyed the advertising industry, but I have a sneaky suspicion that most old guys and most old gals are also unabashedly Old School.

Call it Geezer's Intuition.

As you can see from the picture above, I pay my bills the old fashioned way, via the US Post Office. I tried paying them digitally, but it felt like some unknown alien beings or government officials, had an invisible lien on my earnings. Plus, there were months when the Wells Fargo Bill Paying Bots would skip a payment. Or underpay. Or even overpay. For instance, I now have an accidental $946.73 credit with the water company. 

The water company doesn't issue checks back. Meaning, now, I'm paid up long past my expiration date. So I take extremely long showers. And run the dishwasher whenever I damn well please.

As a consequence I cut the Accounts Payable Chord with Wells Fargo and took my finances into my own hands; writing out checks, balancing my own account and trusting our trusty mail carriers, an honorable occupation that deserves our support. (You're Welcome, Mike Folino)

If you look closely at the two envelopes above, you might notice I have pre-printed return labels. One is from Wounded Warriors and the other is from St. Jude's Hospital for Children. Two of the causes that I support regularly.

Why? Well because it's the right thing to do.

But, also, quite selfishly, I love the free pre-printed return labels.

Let me repeat, for unnecessary emphasis, I LOVE PRE-PRINTED RETURN LABELS.

Again, I'm going to harken back to my Spidey Sense about these things and suggest other people, of similar demographics and age range, share my misplaced zeal for ordinary adhesive stationary.

This can only be explained by hatred of writing out my address. Uselessly, I might add, as my handwriting is ridiculously illegible.

So, here's the thing.

If I were the Chief Marketing Officer of oh....I don't know, Cadillac, I would blast out direct mail sheets of customized pre-printed return labels to folks in the target market. The Cadillac emblazoned labels would sit in the junk drawer for eternity. And each time a potential Cadillac buyer went to mail a bill, or a letter, they would be reminded of Cadillac's enduring quality and luxury. 

You can't buy loyalty like that.

BTW, I know the woman who is the CMO of Cadillac, she happens to read this blog occasionally, and she can consider this one on me, but will have to pay dearly for the next big little idea.

Sometimes the best things in life are actually free.