A fight to the finish.

I never win anything.

I know many people say that, but in my case it's true. I just don't have the "luck of the Irish." Even though technically, via my Scottish-born mom and her boozy ancestors, I do have several pints of Irish blood coursing through my body.

Of course, I did win a partial Regents Scholarship back in my college days. But that was mostly because my father would grind good grades out of me. And had little tolerance for my underachieving ways. So I didn't really win it as much as I earned (slaved) for it.

And in 1984, I was the 12th caller at KMET and won two tickets (nosebleed section) to see Bruce Springsteen on his Born in the USA Tour. Had I known you, Jeff Gelberg, at the time I would've brought you along.

And there was that one night in Vegas where I sat down at the Roulette table with my friend Jean Robaire and stacked up more than $1000 in chips. It was either beginner's luck -- I always thought the roulette table was a sucker's bet -- or the ball spinner, or whatever you call her, found my unique brand of bourbon-induced humor to her liking and was playing with magnets under the table. 

As you might have guessed I didn't leave the table with $1000. More like $37.

But last week I did WIN! As evidenced by the photo up above.

For the uninitiated, my Facebook friend and advertising colleague, the very talented Jon Soto conducts an addictive Name The Thing contest on his page.   The thing can be anything from a new Netflix Show, a nail polish, or even an album cover. The Album Covers, I suspect, are the most popular. 

I never met Jon, but knew of his reputation in the San Francisco creative community. I know the Dodgers/Giants rivalry gets all the attention, but there was always jousting between the Southern and Northern California ad folk. To be completely honest I found the work done at Riney, Goodby, Butler & Shine, etc., to be slightly smarter and more elegant than what we were doing down here. Of course I never received a portfolio call back from one of the aforementioned agencies, so screw them.

In any case, you can imagine the intense competition Jon draws from his followers, many of whom are from the Bay Area. And week after tantalizing week, I would fare well in these unremunerated contests. And week after week, I would lose.

Well I beat the buzzer on 2022 and snatched victory from the unrelenting Marin County jaws of defeat when I cracked the code and not only named this totally fictitious show but also nailed the logline for what I'm convinced would actually be a winning black comedy.

"She had the money and the trust funds they were all looking for. They had the bad haircuts and questionable fashion choices. It's a fight to the finish. Don't miss this week's episode of The Missing Oxycontin."

In any case, I'm gonna savor this little win, maybe with Mercury now in retrograde my fortune is about to change.

But probably, not.