Me and my man Marty

In February of 2002, I was laid off from Chiat/Day. 

No big deal. Agencies and employees, like husbands and wives, often grow apart and find themselves going in diametrically-opposed directions.

I wanted to go in the direction of doing bigger, bolder, breathtaking work. 

The agency did not. 

Simple. 

So they gave me two options. An adequate sized severance check or a demotion and a healthy cut in pay. Retaining some of my dignity, and having all but cinched a deal with Y&R, I snapped up the check and within weeks started pimping my wares at the WPP-owned agency.

18 months and 15,000 miles logged on the 405 Freeway later, I had requested a bump in salary and was told...

"There's no money for raises, even for employees who almost single handedly brought in a $7 million piece of new business and stewarded record setting sales for our Jaguar client. No money."

At about the time I was told that belts needed to be tightened, there was stunning news that the CEO of WPP, one Sir Martin Sorrell, a crafty bean counter with no experience in the advertising field, had fashioned for himself a lucrative land grab...er, salary package...that topped $120 million for 5 years of "service."

In essence, the company wide salary freeze was nothing more than a pint size Shop-Vac of a man sucking up every available dollar for his own benefit as well as the benefits of his ex-wives who can't tear through his alimony checks fast enough.

In short, in Sorrell's case, very short, I now despise this carpetbagger. 

And here's where the beauty of age and a healthy WGAS attitude come in. 

Let's be honest, I and other bloggers who shall remain nameless, are in our sunset years. We've experienced agency bullshit and eaten so many bowls of corporate manure a la mode and dutifully bitten our tongues. 

Oh we might soaked some bridges in kerosene but never lit the match for some fear of retribution. Or damage to our collective reputation. Or, "I may never get a seat at the Long Table of Mediocrity™" again.

Fuck all that!

Sir Martin is now spewing his bullshittery and greedocracy on Linkedin. And I for one, plan to troll the shit out of him.

Other than his proven ability to creatively stack the finances in his favor, this is a weasel who has never had a hand or even one of his grubby little fingers in the making of an ad or adlike object in his life. And now he wants to preach.

 About dumbed-down, data-driven drivel, no less.

It's on, Marty. 

I will hound, deride and shame you every opportunity I get. Because you have no business in our business. And the only way to make me stop is to remunerate me with the raise you stole from my family in 2005, with compounded interest, in 2022 dollars. 

Though I might be willing to settle for a vacation home in one of the more posh neighborhoods in London.