I hope I never have to spend a night in a hospital.
Similarly, I never want to spend another night in jail.
Been there, done that. Don't want to do it again. And so I keep my life on the straight and narrow. Which has become even more difficult in the perilous and surreal times we live in.
The law says you shall be judged by a "jury of your peers." That scares the possibly-impacted shit out of me. Have you seen or listened to my "peers?"
My peers, and by the Transitive Law of Association are also your peers, are on the non-stop train to Wackytown.
Here, for the purposes of elucidation, are just some of the things many potential jurors might/could/do believe in:
* The Earth is flat. They can't tell you why, despite pictures from NASA, logic and the simple observation off a boat sailing past the horizon, they just "know" it's flat. Or in the words of our former POTUS, "subjectively believe" it's flat.
* The Holocaust is actually a Holohoax. I didn't make up that word. It's in the actual lexicon in the handbook of White Supremacy. Also, there is no handbook of White Supremacy, there are thousands of them. Covering everything from eugenics to the blood libel that Jews eat little gentile children.
I don't eat frog's legs and many parts of the cow that I find repulsive. I can't picture myself, even if marooned in the Donner Pass, gnawing on some toddler ribs. "Pass me little Tiffany's femur, please."
* The 2020 Election was stolen. Not all of the election mind you, just the presidential section of the ballot. All those Republican victories in the House and the Senate were legitimately earned and unscathed by the evil, cheating DemonRats. Who, in possession of the apparent undetectable means to change votes and seal a victory for Joe Biden, inexplicably failed to employ those techniques on the down ballot sections!
This last point is perhaps the scariest and represents an existential threat to our democracy. Oh I'm sorry, as many Right Winger Word Police will point out, we live in a "Republic." Right, but despite having not one shred of evidence, they cling to the absurd and Neandarthal belief that ex Precedent Shitgibbon was robbed.
They say it's impossible Joe Biden garnered 81 million votes. I still can't believe Captain Ouchie Foot garnered ONE.
Last Sunday, in an interview on Fox News, GOP gubernatorial candidate and MAGA proxy Tudor Nixon (so on the nose) told Brett Baier she had "very serious concerns about the results of the 2020 election". And that many of her constituents shared those concerns and are pushing for greater Election Integrity.
Can we back that truck up and acknowledge the only reason why "Americans" distrust the election results is because they were spoonfed that baseless horsecockery.
From the likes of MyShillowGuy™(ex-crack addict turned millionaire turned crack addict again), Sidney Powell (the NY Jets of American attorneys), Rudy Giuliani (unpaid publicist for Four Seasons Total Landscaping) and Colonel Fuckknuckle (the only twice impeached ex president who is now under criminal investigation for inciting a coup.)
I can't help but to be reminded of the time I not only sat on a jury, but was promptly selected to be the jury foreman. It was an open-and-shut case of a 7-11 robbery that featured the whole caper caught on crystal clear 7-11 HD security cameras.
After 15 minutes of discussion we took a vote that produced a commanding 11-1 vote. When the unconvinced juror identified himself, he was quickly confronted by the older black woman seated next to me...who, despite her excessive girth, leaped out of her chair with a fiery retort, and this is verbatim...
"Boy, did you not see that goddamned video? I want to get home to watch my soaps, so you better change your vote before I come across this table and slap the stupid out of you!!"
He wasted little time scratching the word NOT off his little slip of yellow legal pad paper.
This fucking country needs the stupid slapped out of it.
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