I'm not smart

In the 64 round trips I've taken around the sun, I don't think I've uttered the words, "I'm smart. I'm really smart." 

I've always held onto the belief that if you have to say something like that, it is more than 90% untrue as well 38% sheer arrogance. 

Moreover, I've had the good fortune of being around really smart people, and know I'm not even in the same class. And because I've worked in the advertising/film/TV business and been on social media since its inception, it's also fair to say I've had the misfortune of coming in contact with many brain-dead imbeciles. 

Still, though I can hold my own in Jeopardy, and for a short while WORDLE, the fact remains, I'm not smart nor would I dare to speak those words aloud.

Last weekend, at another of his American Bund Rallies/Ego Jerkoffathons, Ex Precedent Shitgibbon droned on about how he didn't like it when people called him stupid. And many have. Including dozens he actually had on his staff: General Mattis, Rex Tillerson, Gary Cohn, Rance Priebus, General John Kelly, Mike Milley, Bill Barr, and many more. 

To counter that generally held belief about a man who can't name his favorite book, spell hamburger, identify a single seminal Supreme Court case, outline any details about WWI or WWII -- wars which have  shaped the 20th and 21st century, or point out 100 major countries on an unmarked world map, he recalled the story of "Doc Ronny." 

He literally referred to once White House Chief Physician and now drunken, pill popping Congressman Dr. Ronald Jackson as Doc Ronny. You can see a clip, if you can bear his stammering, fake bravado voice, here.

It is, by far, one of the most humiliating humblebrags in the history of humblebrags. To establish his smartness, he insisted on taking a test. Not an IQ test. Or an SAT. Or even the Jeopardy admittance test. He took the Montreal Cognitive Assessment Test, which because of his continual mental decline, he couldn't even identify and simply referred to as The X Test. 

He ACED it. Aced it, I say. And it was very, very tough.

At this point it should be noted the "X Test" as he calls it -- The MCAT for people with functioning brains -- proves nothing about one's alleged intellect. Go online and take the 30 question quiz yourself. I give you the Siegel Guarantee, you will ace it too. The test is often used to measure mental deterioration in Assisted living homes for seniors. And at the annual CPAC conference. And at the The Daily Wire Christmas Party.

Of course, we all remember when he went on Fox News to boast about how he "nailed" what he considered the most important part of the X Test and correctly rattled off 5 random words in the correct order. Oddly enough, his fit of self aggrandizement at the Ohio Rally, he failed to repeat those 5 magic words which to my everlasting delight will be entered in the White House Presidential Archive. Also to the amazement of future head-palming historians, who will stop in their tracks and say, "This can't be real."

And on that note I give you my favorite memes I created in his honor. 

I may not be smart, but I'm certainly not lacking in snark...