MyHeroGuy™

If ever there was a Roundseventeen Person of the Weeks -- and in the twelve years that I've been pumping out this tripe there's never been -- the award would have to go MyPillowGuy™ Mike Lindell.

When Mike goes to meet his Pillow Maker in the sky what do you think will get top billing on his tombstone? Michael Lindell or MyPillowGuy™? I hope when I go my daughters will simply inscribe my marker with Rich Siegel and not their trademarked name for me ______ _______™.

In any case, you couldn't escape MyPillowGuy™'s antics last week even if you wanted to. And why would you want to? Not when this self-made Foam Rubber Billionaire was staging his "Cyber Symposium" and had all the goods on the rigged 2020 election. 

Surely, this would change the trajectory of American Democracy and demonstrate to the world the power of rugged American individualism.

Imagine, a twice married, ex-gambler, former crackhead who pulled himself up by the sham-straps to make his mark in millions of trailer park bedrooms and leveraging that money, and power, to tilt at the windmills of the Establishment Body Politic. 

It truly is a story for the ages.

Except it turned out to be less Melville and more Benny Hill. 

Only 4 minutes into the live-streaming of the 72 hour marathon, there were technical glitches. I've never staged one before, but I suspect technical glitches don't make for good optics at a "Cyber Symposium". Thus taking what could have been a world class event -- from Sioux City, South or North Dakota (does it even matter) -- down a couple of notches.

But MyPillowGuy™ pressed on, announcing, with all the meth-fueled toxic masculinity he could muster, that there would be no breaks, not for eating, not for peeing and not for shitting (that's what the microphone was for).

Then, after a longer preamble than a Rachel Maddow blockbuster show, he brought out the "evidence." 

Packet Captures he called them, appropriating some election mechanics terminology to give it the sheen of credibility. On the 6 big screens that lined the massive staging area, all 38 attendees of the "Cyber Symposium" feasted their eyes on this...

There it was!!!

Look at those shameful Sevens. And the devious Threes. And the flip-flopping Sixes and Nines. 

How could anyone look at this and deny that there was skullduggery afoot? Clearly, the Democrats and the Wachowski Brothers, had stolen the presidential election of 2020.

At this writing, MyPillowGuy™ had still not brought his overwhelmingly convincing case to the Supreme Court, but that can only be a matter of time. The justices are busy on other issues and the fight to make America right understandably takes time. But I'm sure, as you no doubt are sure, that when Mr. Lindell Goes to Washington, he will score a 9-0 ruling and what was stolen will soon be returned to its rightful owner.

Until then, remember you can score a 10% off promo code on the MySlipper™ Slip ons, now with more than 1/2 inch of comfy Mike's patented comfy padding.