Things happen.
Unexplainable things.
Let me back the truck a little to explain. Last year, in fact for the last couple of years, we have not had much success with our annual garden of tomatoes, cucumbers, and gut-exploding hot peppers. As I explained to a colleague this week, I do not suffer from Jew Stomach and can tolerate as well as enjoy the most fiery fruits to arise from the ground.
The poor bounty is hard to explain, since, at the nagging of my wife, I had gone out of my way to water the veggies with painful regularity. That it turns out was my first mistake.
The helpful clerk at the nursery advised me to water three times a week instead of my previous fourteen. And low and behold, with July not yet upon us, the garden is bearing fruit. Or shall I say vegetables. We have two cucumber plants doing amazing. My Serranos and Habaneros are already turning color and turning my intestines into a blast furnace. And one of on my tomato plants already has more than a dozen orbs getting bigger by the day.
As I was checking one of the larger tomatoes at the bottom, steam started exploding from my ears. Turns out, it had been nibbled on by a squirrel. Or worse, one of the many Norwegian Tree Rats that scurry about the neighborhood in the wee hours of the evening.
Upon further examination, I had to pluck three green unripened tomatoes that been ravaged by some sneaky rodent. That was three days ago. And I am still fuming about my bounty being pirated.
No sooner had I got done griping about the theft and complaining to my wife, producing the expected eye roll, did I see this infographic (see above) come across my computer screen. It is the perfect summation of my agricultural woes.
Like I said, things happen.
That is not to say I haven't exacted my revenge. I have.
Contrary to that old maxim about not being able to build a better a better mousetrap, some clever engineers in China who work wonders with molded plastic have done exactly that.
And thanks to the algorithmically agile folks at Amazon, I now have in my possession two KatSense Covered Rat and Chipmunk Traps™.
And they work.
Even on the oversized, overfed bullies of the litter.
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