The Bedminster Chronicles, Part III

A Recap.

When we last visited the world class, super premier, bigly fabulous Bedminster Country Club I was inquiring about staging a Bar Mitzvah for my fictitious nephew Ira Cohen, a 12 year old golf aficionado. After many back and forth emails, the Club Event Director Amanda, had told me that because of Covid, our big party could only be a small party with 75 guest Max.

Naturally this was going to be sticking point. Particularly with my equally fictitious wife Ruthie. And it gave me time to let the matter marinate a little. 

To make matters even more interesting, Amanda brought in her Club Membership Director, Dana, to pitch me on all the wonderful amenities that are included in the outrageous fee to belong to one "New Jersey's finest country club", an oxymoron in its own right. Apparently the facilities are only available to club members.

Dana was quite thorough in her introductory email.

Wow, a heated pool! World class poolside dining! Theme nights for the entire family! I had to remind myself this was just me goofing on them, otherwise I would have whipped out my checkbook and gone into hock. After all, that's a lot of amenities for just $200,000 a year.

Thankfully, I got hold of my senses and responded, appropriately in character.

 

That was three days ago. And alas, it appears I might have overplayed my hand. I have not heard back from Ms. Garner or Ms. Gazi.

Maybe it was the pinochle. Or maybe it was the mention of the Sifaka Lemur from Madagascar. Note to self: no more monkey jokes.

In any case, it's worth one more shot. So I dashed this off to Amanda, hoping to get the Bar Mitzvah back on track.

It's late Wednesday afternoon as I write this and still no response from the heart of the Garden State. Sometimes that's just the way things work out in the scambaiting business.

If the adventure continues, you, dear readers, will be the first to know, meaning the staff at Bedminster will continue to be the last to know.

If not, fear not. For I received an interesting offer from the Illuminati, again, and have a live one on the hook.

Stay tuned.