You've got mail.

As many of you know, I am someone who does not hold back on commitment. I've worn the same flip flops for 7 years. The same cargo shorts for 11 years. And my wife and I have been together for more than 30 of my 44 years on this planet. The math might be sketchy but the commitment is not.

For the past three and a half years I have been on a warpath to oust this lying, fobbing, earth-vexing hedgepig from the White House. On this matter, my energy is boundless. And I am, admittedly, annoyingly relentless. Not as annoying or relentless as the subject of my disdain, but enough so that many followers on social media have located the Block or Unfriend button.

They have wisely saved themselves from my next endeavor.

At the behest of Pam Barsky, an advertising friend and a woman of equal hatred for our pig-nut POTUS, I signed up with Postcards2SwingStates.com, an organization that is driving the vote where it counts most -- those purplish states where undecided voters can swing the election towards an American Rebirth or towards a violent, fascist, gold-plated, Covid-ridden Hell, the path we are currently on.

As you can see from the picture above, I've been sent a package with close to 200 postcards. And I've been given the names and addressees of their intended destination. I simply have to write out a message on the postcard and buy the 35 cent stamp needed to "guarantee" their arrival.

The good people at Postcards2SwingStates have prepared a simple and quite agnostic message they'd like me to affix to their postcards. The idea is to get out the vote, knowing full well there are more registered Democrats than there are Republicans in this country.

As someone in the copywriting business for the last 500 years, I have to say their message is limp and uninspiring. I'll probably adhere to their guidelines, but I won't like it.

For one thing, who plans to sit out the next election, the most important election in this nation's fragile history. We are literally on the brink of Civil War II and you're not going to vote? While the country is crumbling like a stale Fortune cookie, you're going to sit this one out and stay home to binge watch Matlock?

"They're showing that episode where he solves the crime at the last minute."

More importantly, you're still undecided about who to vote for? Are you out of your god da.....

(DRAMATIC PAUSE FOR EFFECT)

Sorry Pam.

Sorry Postcards2SwingStates.com, I might have to go my own route on this one.