No sale

I don't often get to tell a gun story, as I don't own any guns, have no interest in owning guns and generally don't know that many people who are into guns.

I understand the thrill of shooting a gun. I once shot my brother with a BB gun while he was speeding away on a bicycle. And I must say I'm still proud of the way I led him, carefully gauging the speed, wind and vectoring, and nailed him right in the calf. He still bears the scar of my pubescent marksmanship.

In any case, with not much in the way of work these days, prospects made even gloomier in these pandemic end times, and with no sporting events on TV, I find myself, and my dog, doing a lot more walking. Yesterday, while returning home via Culver Blvd, I noticed a white Honda pulled into a driveway and blocking the sidewalk.

As I approached, the window came sliding down and a middle aged Asian man stopped me in my tracks (I will explain the reason for noting his ethnicity in just a bit.)

"Do you know where the gun store is located?" he asked.

"Gun store? This is an apartment building going through a remodel."

"But Google maps says there's a gun store here."

He showed me the map on his phone.

Indeed, there was gun store. But I had never heard of TJ nor did I know of his whereabouts and his "pistolsmithing skills" (according to his website.)

I couldn't help notice the man was quite nervous. So I took it upon myself to do something that's not exactly in my wheelhouse, I tried to de-escalate the situation and calm him down.

"Why are you looking for a gun?"

"I went to the gun store on Washington and the line was around the block. I need a gun to protect my family. Do you have a gun?"

"No,  I don't. I'm kind of hotheaded and have anger issues. So owning a gun is not a good idea for me, though it would be an excellent way to silence my neighbor's god damned car alarm."

And then I remembered a conversation I had with my wife earlier, where she had read that Asian families are feeling threatened because Captain Fuckknuckle and his GOP fear mongering toadies are busy pointing their coronavirus-exposed fingers at the Chinese and whipping up conspiracy theories.

It's one thing to hear media pundits analyze the news and put their spin on it, it's quite another when the fear is real and its staring up at you from the driver's seat of a 2017 Honda Civic.

"Look, I can't tell you what to do. You can get a gun at Big 5 on Sepulveda."

"Thank you."

"I think there's a mandatory three day waiting period."

"Oh."

"I also think we need to remain calm and take a deep (well-filtered) breath. Everything is going to be OK. My family will be OK. And your family will be OK. Everything is going to be OK."

His shoulders dropped and he exhaled.

It looked like he hadn't exhaled for three days.

As he drove off, I thought to myself, I hope I'm right.