Happy New Year and Welcome Back.
Here's what to expect from me in 2020:
* Same exorbitant day rates
* More stories that begin with, "When I was at Chiat..."
* Fewer eye rolls or facial ticks that indicate confusion or disapproval
(If you're writing the checks, I'm writing the copy)
* Better and even more urgent CTA's
* Greater attention to personal hygiene, with special emphasis on ear hair
* More charming anecdotes about working with Lee Clow, including a detailed bio description for younger creatives who can't identify Lee Clow
* No scripts with Kristen Bell, Shaquille O'Neal or Anna Kendricks
* Less bragging about my ability to bench press 245 lbs.
* Zealous response to requests for email blasts, banners and Tik Tok mishegas
* Faster turnarounds, 1st look at work will be presented before conclusion of the briefing
* Because our country is at a crossroads, I promise to donate 5% of all 2020 bookings to the Democratic Presidential Nominee (even if its Marianne Williamson) as well as the candidates running against MoscowMitch, Ms. Lindsey Graham and Matt Gaetz ( I want to punch this bastard)
* Because our country is at a crossroads, I promise to donate 5% of all 2020 bookings to the Democratic Presidential Nominee (even if its Marianne Williamson) as well as the candidates running against MoscowMitch, Ms. Lindsey Graham and Matt Gaetz ( I want to punch this bastard)
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