When we last visited Mr. Willy Ruiz, Sales Manager and President of World Class Prestigious Fabulous Doral Trump National Golf Club in Florida, we were discussing the lower cost Social Membership.
From my careful reading of the contract, the $15,000 package, as well as the $500 a month dues, does entitle a member to the many fantastic, remarkable and big league amenities at this one of a kind club, that one Yelp reader says, "Feels like a nice Ramada Inn."
If you will recall I was also trying to wrangle a commitment from Mr. Ruiz, who promised to find me the same carpet used in the Doral lobby for our fictional condo at the Villas of Amberwood.
That help never came.
What is it with people these days? Mr. Ruiz probably could have closed the sale and had my $15,000 check in his grubby hands if he had just met me halfway. Instead I got this.
He really wants to talk to me on the phone. So I called his number several times and hung up immediately. If I get on the phone I will start laughing immediately and the whole mission, as it were, would be blown.
So I retreat to stalling technique #37.
But I fear the picture of me and my hot headed wife, Pauline Lancinanti (Ball Buster, in Italian) prancing through the hallways at Exclusive, Incomparable, Preeminent World Class Trump National Doral Golf Country Club, has proven too much for the elitist snobs at this place and he has failed to return any further inquiries.
And so, I am left to play the only card I have left, my Trump card, the promise of more money.
The bad news is I don't believe I will ever hear from Mr. Willy Ruiz ever again.
The good news is Captain Ouchie Foot has golf clubs all over the world.
"Hello Turnberry, this is Angus McWillywilly...."
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