Sorry to have to do this to you, we've been through two of these grueling experiences in the past, but we're all going to have get through this again.
I'm publishing another book.
You know the deal. The shameless self promotion. The memes. The harping, the scraping, the clinging and the clawing for every book sale. No one is more embarrassed by the shenanigans than me.
Moreover, now that I am engaged in a full tilt, all out flaming war with Erik Moe, Freelance Copywriter to the Failing Start Ups and Unfortunate Fortune 500, there will be plenty of grist for Eric's dull-bladed mill.
Nevertheless, what must be done, must be done.
My good friend and art director extraordinaire Jean Robaire is currently designing the front book cover of my new opus, Mr. Siegel Writes to Washington, a compilation of close to 60 letters written to every GOP member of the US Senate. The back cover however is a blank slate.
This is where you, the frustrated reader of RoundSeventeen come in.
In the past, I have assembled a collection of fictional quotes from disgruntled planners as well as hoity toity editors who could not be bothered with my literary drivel. For the upcoming publication, I'd like to sample some choice words from seething US Senators.
For example...
"...what did I think of Siegel's letter? I thought his Pearlevision Buy One Pair of Glasses, Get the Second One Free campaign was much better written." -- Senator Rand Paul
"Didn't read it. My kitty cat might have. It lined her litter box for a week." -- Senator Lindsey Graham
"There was no cash in the envelope. Hello!!!" -- Senator David Perdue
"I read the letter from that 44 year old hack. In 6 months that loser will be driving an Uber and mowing the neighbor's yard for income." -- Senator Chuck Grassley
"Vitriolic and angry. Of course if I had a face like his I'd be angry too." -- Senator John Cornyn
Now it's your turn. Throw me a good line, take your best shot. If you can make minced meat out of me you'll get a cherished (or not-so-cherished) spot on the back of my book.
PS. I'm also looking for a good subtitle.
The definition of filibutser is, "To act in an obstructive manner in a legislature."
ReplyDeleteWhat better defines the contents of your book?
SUBHEAD: A Filibuster of Jocular Vitriol
Plus, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington was, in large part, about a filibuster. So there's that, too.
ALT: Open Letters to Closed Minds
“The most disgusting piece of writing I’ve ever read, and I once read CNN.” - Ted Cruz
ReplyDelete“Does it come in an audiobook instead?” - Richard Burr
“I stand for everything in this book, and you can trust me when I say things like that.” - Susan Collins
"Who has time to read this nonsense? I'm too busy separating kids from their parents at the Southern Border!" - Mitch McConnell, Senate Majority Leader
ReplyDelete"l'd like to read this, but it's hard to see it through my white hood" - Cindy Hyde-Smith, Senator from Mississippi