Wednesday, May 29, 2019

A special episode of the Illuminati Chronicles





There is a lot of Illuminati insignia to be found on the internet. This one could be my fav. I love the little rat climbing up the logo.

When we last spoke to Mr. Donald J Beckham, Internet Illuminati Recruiter, he had hit me up for $120. And had sent three very curt and stern emails to the effect of PAY UP NOW.

Not even acknowledging that I was in a hospital bed recovering from a nasty head injury.

Fortunately, that brain injury could mean a jackpot of money, if my lawyer, Mr. Lionel Hutz, that's right, from THE SIMPSONS, does his due diligence.




I know I've said this before, but it thrills me every time he addresses my character by name.


Ooooo, a luxury car!!!


By the way, of the three, I really would take the Cadillac. 

My dad's cousin Seymour Maltz was a very successful photographer who lived on Long Island. He drove a Fleetwood Brougham. That was style.



But Donnie, like his namesake is all business.

Then I thought if a TV lawyer is funny, why not a TV doctor.


But Donald doesn't want a check. He wants cash. 



And so I take the liberty of reducing the agreed $120 payment down to $110.


Then we doesn't respond quickly enough, I self reduced the fee even further.


Donnie is unfazed. And while he would have loved to get his hands on $120. He's more than happy to accept the $100.



The astute among you will recognize this as a variation on an old Borscht Belt joke...

SON: Hey Dad, can you lend me $50?

DAD: $40, what do you need forty dollars for?

SON: What...

DAD: $30 is a lot of money.

SON: Wait.

DAD: Here's $25, but I want it back by next Saturday.






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