This is Senator Rick Scott. You might recognize him as the former governor of Florida. Or you might think you've seen him as the villain is some cheap, downmarket, over the top horror film. In essence, the perfect metaphor for Florida.
In any case, Senator Rick is the subject of our next Thursday Thrashing letter (I believe we're up to #51.)
As you'll soon see, Ricky has been in the news lately. And we can all expect great things from him.
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4.4.19
Senator Rick Scott
716 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510
Dear Senator Scott,
We often hear God Bless America at sporting events. We hear it at the end of big dramatic speeches. We even hear it after someone sneezes...well, a variation on it. I would suggest we don't need to hear it anymore.
Because God has already blessed America.
Think about it.
God has already given us a Commander in Chief who is tall, slender (at 239 lbs.), a lover of all people, a truth teller, and, as we will get to in a moment, a stable genius.
Our Big Gulp Cup truly runneth over.
At his side, God has also given us 53 US Republican Senators who do his providential bidding. I've made it my mission to write a letter to each and every one of these men and women who are nothing less than God's warriors on Earth. You are letter #51, but let's remember you are late entry into the Senate.
Let us also not be discouraged by that, because God, in all his wisdom, has verily shone his grace on all of us. And by that I mean, last week, you, Senator Rick Scott, a disciple of decency, dedication and dignity, were chosen by our divine leader to spearhead the effort to replace Obamacare.
"Lord, we are not worthy of your love."
What have we done to deserve such grace?
How much bounty can be bequeathed to one people?
Many know that you, along with other stable genius, George W. Bush, were co-owners of the Texas Rangers baseball team. What most people don't realize is that your unmatched business acumen was forged in the world of healthcare.
In 1987 you, along with major financing from Citicorp, attempted to buy HCA, Hospital Corporation of America, worth close to 4 billion dollars. The attempt fell short, but you, Rick Scott, determined to find your fortune in the misfortune of others, were undeterred.
And in 1994 you became the CEO of Columbia/HCA, the "single largest for-profit healthcare company in America."
Mmmmm, unregulated profit.
That's the kind of single-minded drive, determination and callous capitalism that made this country great. And it's the kind of senatorial leadership we so lack these days.
Oh sure, there might have been the occasional FBI investigation. The fraud. The corruption. The anti-kickback violations. The illegal deals with homecare companies. The false cost reporting. And the pharmaceutical irregularities that resulted in thousands of dollars of under the table payments.
But have we learned nothing over the past year? And the futility of prosecuting these frivolous "process crimes?"
The important thing, and I think you and everyone else in America who owns a red golf cap will agree, is that you have what it takes to turn dialysis into a dollar.
You know how to profit from pancreatic cancer.
You have the gumption to make lemonade out of lymphoma.
That makes you special Rick.
And because Captain Fuckknuckle has chosen you to spearhead this new spectacular healthcare system that will be the envy of the world, that makes us blessed.
Best regards,
Rich Siegel
siegelrich@mac.com
Culver City, CA 90232
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