Pay me my money

I cashed a check last week.

Well, that's hardly news, right?

In 15 years of freelancing I've cashed a lot of checks. But this one was different. It was for $1763.28 and it might have been the sweetest $1763.28 I've ever deposited in my account.

Faithful readers might remember my tale of being shorted by a major holding company several months ago. A payment discrepancy they had attributed to the "annualization" of my day rate. To this day, I have no idea what that means. I only know that several middle managers cited it as the reason why the amount I was invoicing was not the amount I was being paid.

Being of Half Scottish/Half Jewish descent, you can imagine how this did not sit well with me. You see, Mr. or Ms. Middle Management, I'm not really interested in your company rules. I don't work for you. I work for me. I'm not running a charity, I'm running a business. And I have one inviolable rule:

If I work 18 days, I get paid for 18 days.

There's really nothing else to talk about. I don't care about your "annualization" policies. I don't want to hear about your "pay periods." Nor do I want to waste another moment talking to someone who doesn't have the power to purchase a paper clip.

So I did what I have always done in the past. I went over their heads. Way over their heads. I made my case to the holding company CFO.

The internet is great that way. With enough persistence and imagination, you can find anyone's email address. Two weeks ago I was corresponding with the VP of Membership admissions at Mara Largo.

Years ago, when I was trying to finance the purchase of my sister-in-law's townhome, I ran into all kinds of red tape and financial no-no's. So I wrote a letter to the Chairman of Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac, enclosed a DVD copy of "It's A Wonderful Life" and Fed-Exed it to the Chairman. I made what I thought was a very compelling case and asked if he wanted to be remembered as Mr. Potter, the evil banker.

He did not.

Freddie Mac relented and bent the rule in my favor.

Similarly, the holding company saw the error of their ways and issued me the make good check. The check was accompanied by a very stern letter from someone high up in the organization. It clearly stated that there was no remaining balance and that the company owed me nothing more.

I suspect that also means they owe me no more phone calls and that I will not work there again.

And that's fine, snarky edited comment goes here.

Because:

If I work 18 days, I get paid for 18 days.