Mit Irony

Today's Thursday Thrashing letter goes to Mitt Romney, the guy you hated in 2012, then loved in 2018, but will soon hate again.

Trust me.

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1.24.19

Senator Mitt Romney

B33 Russell Senate Office Building 

Washington, DC 20510

Dear Mitt,

Welcome to the US Senate.

Several months ago I started writing letters to all the US Republican Senators. If I'm being completely honest, the task has been saddening, depressing and surprisingly tedious.

You see, week after week I would hunt down my next victim. Research their bumbling antics on the Internet. Dip my pen in the bottomless well of rage ink and let loose a flurry of fiery invective on these beslubbering, sodden-witted cullions.

Oh sure, it's fun to uncork the volcano, but as the sadistic guards at any

Turkish prison will tell you, "sometimes it just gets old." 

Or, "bazen sadece yaşlanır."

So you can imagine how refreshing it feels to welcome you to the Upper Chamber.

I'd like to thank the people of Utah for sending us an old guard Republican who believes in fiscal conservatism, world leadership, and the institutions of democracy as well as our precious Rule of Law.

It's my hope that as a former presidential candidate you will have the fortitude, the intelligence and the political capitol to stand up to the useful Manchurian idiot who currently watches TV and scarfs buckets of greasy fast food at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. 

Unlike your cowering colleagues who walk on eggshells and fear being at the wrong end of a sniping 140 character tweet.

My plan is to assemble this collection of letters and publish them in a book several months from now. But I might be looking at this through rose-colored glasses. And ignoring the crumbling precipice we are all standing on.

As I write this, the American government is closed for business, the national deficit is soaring, the stock market is horrifically volatile and the pressure cooker that is Robert Mueller appears to be ready to blow.

You Mitt, and it seems you alone, can save us from a certain catastrophic fall into dystopia...oh wait, I'm being handed a bulletin.

It seems you voted for easing sanctions on our Russian overlords AND you blamed the #TrumpShutdown on the Democrats.

Oh for Christ's sake (or whatever deity you Mormons pray to.)

Fuck You Mitt.

Now I don't blame your niece, the current chair of the RNC, for dropping the Romney name like a Taco Bell Meat Torpedo.

I didn't think it was possible, but you make Jeff Flake look good.

Best regards,

Rich Siegel

siegelrich@mac.com

Culver City, CA 90232