Did someone say Illuminati?

I got a great Christmas gift last year -- another invitation to join the Illuminati.

This one came from Alexandria.

I'm not the kind of fellow who can say "no", so I forwarded the invite to my gmail account, assumed the persona of Dick Hertz (yes I am that juvenile) and set off, once again, to do some scam baiting in Africa.

The adventure began with the useless filling out of the forms. I assume this is to give the process the sheen of authenticity.

Of course I provided Alexandria, a lovely name, with all the details. For fun I replaced my profile picture with that of John Thune, the asshat Republican Senator from North Dakota. Or South Dakota. Does it even matter?

2018 ended, and 2019 began, with a flurry of emails from my Illuminati recruiters.

At this point, I was handed off to a Michael John. Perhaps he is Alexandria's boss.

In  any case, he wants to get down to business. Just not my business.

By now, I thought I knew what to expect. The list of of initiation items needed for my full acceptance into the Brotherhood.

But wait until you see what's on the list. That's when things get interesting. For that you'll have to tune in next week.