Thursday Thrashing Letter #30. Or 29. Or 28.
I have to take inventory.
I thought I had written to Lisa Murkowski, but it turns out I hadn't. This week's adventure in Presidential Embarrassments gives me good cause to reach out to her.
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10.18.18
Senator Lisa Murkowski
522 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington DC, 20510
Dear Senator Horseface,
What's that?
You don't like being called Horseface.
You don't like being called Horseface.
You find it debasing.
Degrading.
And an insult to all women who deserve to be respected whether they nobly bump fuzzies on film for our amusement or whether they occupy the lowest rung in our societal ladder and serve in the US Senate.
Yet, when your president (not mine) took to Twitter yesterday to speak with his 41.7 million followers he took the opportunity to call a woman he was once intimate with (intimate being a relative term) a capital H, Horseface.
Amazing that the man your party elected to the same office held by Lincoln, FDR and George Washington, has once again demonstrated all the class of a 1970's Times Square Pimp.
Perhaps even more shameful, Senator Horseface, is the fact that neither you, nor any of your colleagues, stepped up and called out this brain dead pig and his boorish behavior.
I know because I checked your Twitter feed yesterday. You had time to honor the Kenai Peninsula Ice Hole Fisherman of the Year, but not one word regarding the toxic misogyny oozing from 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
You would think that after writing 30 or so of these letters to Republican US Senators over the past six months, one of you would rise to the occasion. But you would be wrong. Frankly, I have more respect for the bukake gang bang girls who take spum baths for money than I have for any of you Congressional whores.
I'm a happily married man with two beautiful daughters and would never resort to calling a woman a Horseface. It's just wrong. Truth be told I shouldn't have laid that on you as well.
Besides, I looked at some no-so-flattering pictures of you on Google Images and honestly couldn't find any resemblance to a horse.
That's not to say I have ruled out all barnyard animals.
Maybe it's me, but the buggy eyes and the thick helmet of hair give you a certain goat-like appearance. How about Senator Lisa Goathead?
Your faux-disapproval of Brett Kavanaugh notwithstanding, one could also argue your plodding, thoughtless behavior is distinctively sheep-like. How about Senator Lisa Ovineski?
Then again, perhaps I've been too hasty ruling out the entirety of the equine species.
Because the fact that you remain a Republican and enable this morally bankrupt president who sanctions murders, who dirties the earth, who steals from the poor to give to the rich, who lies with every breath of oxygen he takes and who sucks on the titties of porn stars while his newborn son is sucking on the titties of his mother, tells me you are a Grade A Jack Ass.
Because the fact that you remain a Republican and enable this morally bankrupt president who sanctions murders, who dirties the earth, who steals from the poor to give to the rich, who lies with every breath of oxygen he takes and who sucks on the titties of porn stars while his newborn son is sucking on the titties of his mother, tells me you are a Grade A Jack Ass.
Or, in deference to your gender, Senator Jacqueline Ass.
Best,
Rich Siegel
siegelrich@mac.com
Culver City, CA 90232
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