It's all about that advertising

About a year ago, I changed the dynamics of this blog and signed up for Google's ad program. Essentially, allowing Google to use this scarcely-seen blog as a media platform for garbage-y banner ads.

Since that fateful decision, I've earned a whopping $103.79.

Clearly, unlike my fellow tribe members, I was not meant to be a media mogul. I must be doing something wrong and probably should spend more time listening to Gary Vaynerchuck and less time snickering about his bloated self-motivational missives and asinine wool caps.

At first, it appeared, I had no control whatsoever about the products and services Google decided to advertise on my site. There were ads for carpentry tools, pine-flavored toothpaste, and Vietnamese river cruises.

It all seemed so random.

My guess is the Google software was collecting data from my readers and catering the ads to their eclectic interests.

Then things changed.

I started noticing more and more ads related to websites I had been visiting. Hence, you might have noticed more ads from Nest, Barking Dog Control devices and oceanfront real estate on the Oregon coastline.

This is a phenomena we're all too familiar with. You go to Amazon to order a slimming Spanx tank top to restore your once shapely physique and the next thing you know your Facebook feed is swimming in Spanx ads.

"Tired of your fat feet? Try our new Spanx socks and get those EEE puppies into shape."

Well, you know me, I can't pass up a good opportunity to mess wth my reader's heads, all 8 of them.

A few weeks ago I embarked on a purposeful mission to start browsing bizarre and telling websites. Knowing full well that paging through their sites would trigger a flood of odd and questionable ads on RoundSeventeen. See photo above from hommemystere.com, purveyors of the world's finest lingerie fashioned for men.

I didn't stop there.
I went on to look for:


Mobile petting zoos.

Ball gags.

Japanese wall decals.

International Nicholas Cage Fan Clubs

KKK Sheet laundering services


The inter web is a fascinating place. And has something for everyone. Including, it seems,  writers with way too much time on their hands.