If you reside in Adland you are well aware of the creative and media review initiated by AT&T, the nation's largest...er, I don't even know what to call them anymore.
Their account is worth $438 billion dollars, equivalent to the GDP of China, Russia and Finland, combined.
Normally I'd be itching to get in on that good freelance action. I'm sure agencies are paying top dollar for mercenary creatives like myself to dig in with both hands and crack the code that will lead to victory.
But that turns out to be my naivete speaking.
Last week I was reading about the review as reported on AgencySpy, which is quickly becoming the only legitimate news source for the industry. Equally enlightening are the AgencySpy comments left by trollers, recently fired employees, and surprisingly enough, people in the know.
Apparently, there is no code to be cracked.
The contest, between two mighty holding companies, will not be decided based upon 20th century criteria like creativity, design or strategic thinking. That's so passe.
No, like the way anything gets done in America, it will depend on cronyism, favor taking, margin trimming, and huge sums of money being passed under the table. Or in the Champagne Room at the Rack Shack.
You see, it's no longer about storyboards, scripts or anthems that carve out a unique point of view. That's all been commoditized. So much so that unlike days of yore when you could tell a Chiat/Day or Wieden & Kennedy spot from a JWT or McCann Erikson spot, now it all looks and feels the same.
And that's fine, let the bean counters have their day.
It's a sweet, savory reversal of fortune.
Because in the long feverish days and nights leading up to the pitch, I hope it's the Creatives who get to go home at 5.
And I hope it's the finance folks and the holding company execs who are eating Mushu Pork at 1 AM or assembling the Powerpoint decks on a hot Saturday afternoon without any fuckin' air conditioning!!!
No one gives a shit anymore. The amount of giveashit in advertising has seen a precipitous decline. That's why I'm resigning my salary and going part-time freelance as I start a new, non-advertising business. I have plenty of giveashit. I just don't give it to advertising anymore because why should I be the only one? They can pay for my giveashit by the hour, because they certainly don't giveashit about me or anyone else on the payroll. May as well do something that stokes my passion instead of trying to kill it daily.
ReplyDeleteFuck the current ad industry in its ass with a 1,000-page PowerPoint deck. Sideways, because anal paper cuts.
The gist of this piece is the single best answer yet to Sir Martin Sorrell's, "We're not in the advertising business anymore" paean to big data. "Then why is it the creative department that still has to work nights and weekends?"
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