Next Year in Austin

SXSW concluded their festivities two days ago. I know this not because I hopped on a Southwest jet and flew down to Austin for a smorgasbord of music, wisdom and false camaraderie, but because I looked it up on Google.

If you've read all 812 posts on roundseventeen or even just a smattering of 3 or 4, you know I'm not big on industry shindigs. Or confabs. Or anything or anywhere advertising people are going to be pontificating.

I'd rather be flown to Indonesian New Guinea, slathered in Kansas City Barbecue Sauce and fed to a tribe of hungry Korowai cannibals.

Once, I was asked to speak on a ProMax panel regarding the new age of broadcast promotion. I was flown, first class, to Toronto. Picked up by car service at the airport. And put up in a big fancy hotel. All, despite my protestations...

"I don't know what the hell to talk about."

And I didn't.

Sure, our ABC campaign was making a lot of waves, but the truth is, I had nothing of any substance to impart to the crowd of eager broadcast promotion people. So when it came time to speak, I  told some funny anecdotes. I might have even mentioned how a certain celebrity was a prick on the set. (The fact is most celebrities I've dealt with are like that and should be the guest of honor at a Korowai Bar Mitzvah.)

But that's neither here.
Nor there.
Or anywhere near Austin.

Now all the SXSW festival-goers are back at their group desks. Ready to apply all their new social media wisdom. And break new ground in the area of brand-to-consumer personal engagement. They'll do it by (and this is an actual quote gleaned from one of the cognescenti on FB)...

"Talking to human beings as if they were human beings."

Damn, that's so 2014.

Speaking of next year, I was able to get a preview of some of the panels being convened for next March. I've curated them here for your convenience.

March 8, 2014 -- The Strategic Incubation of Viral Metrics and Mindshare Methodolgies.

March 9, 2014 -- How to Reinvent Customized Systems with Scalable Supply Chains.
followed by Scaling Your Supply Chain to Meet the Needs of your Reinvented Customized System.

March 10, 2014 -- Build Your Own Burrito Bar

March 11, 2014 -- Monetize Killer Niches and End-to-End Vortals

March 12, 2014 -- Mumford & Sons

March 13, 2014 -- E-enabling and Recontextualizing Granular Bandwith and Extensible Partnerships

March 15, 2014 -- Banner Ads