This event is FREE!!!

The High Holidays are upon us. So naturally you might think I'd write a post bashing this annual ritual. But that would be predictable, and I'm not fond of predictability.

So to mix things up I won't be ragging on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur. But I don't want to disappoint those of you who might have been looking forward to a good laugh at the expense of Judaism.

Well there's good news on both fronts. Because in going through my files I found this left over gem (pictured above) for the Fun & Wacky Passover Family Adventure.

I know many elitist Jews look down their hooked noses at our Christian brethren and their crass commercialization of all that is holy. Take this screen grab from the Holy Land Experience in Orlando, Florida for example:

"Say Honey, let's visit the #18 The Whipping Post where Jesus was scourged."

"That's a great idea dear. Afterwards let's  follow it up with a #22 Centurian Treat."

"Mmmmmm, turkey legs and pretzels. Those were John the Baptist's favorite."

But the truth is, we are no better.

I don't know how we resisted, but way back in April, Camp JCA hosted this Exodus-themed Carnivale. Normally, I don't associate the escape from bondage and slavery with Fun and Wacky, but apparently the good folks at Shalom Institute do.

The festivities included an opportunity to "toil the land and gather parsley." And seriously, what kid doesn't want to do that?

Of course the weekend did include an opportunity to "zip line across Red Sea." We all know that technology did not exist then and the Hebrews had to schlep their crap across the Red Sea. But had the Almighty, Host of Hosts been a little more prescient he might have provided high tech zip lines with galvanized metal aircraft cable and drop-forged U-bolts.

In which case I dare say, our numbers would not be in the millions, but the billions.

All of which reinforces a point made by many comics: we Jews simply don't do holidays well.

It also explains that while my family is gathered for Rosh Hashanah, the fireworks-less  New Year's celebration, and dipping their apple slices in honey, I will be dipping my liver in Maker's Mark.