Premium $80,0000 German automobile with a useless top speed of 160 mph and the same basic technology found in a $30,000 VW -- Check
High grade aluminum roof rack capable of hauling 500 lbs. of cargo -- Check.
Imported Italian baby stroller with anti-lock brakes and built-ipod connectivity -- Check
Ergonomically designed Marc Jacobs Baby Bag with storage compartments for bottles, food and parents matching knit caps -- Check
Change for the parking meter -- Damnit.
"Honey, hand me one of those disposable diapers...whaddya mean there's only three left?...Maybe if you stopped feeding him that pesticide-free, organically-grown fruit puree he wouldn't be shitting every 5 minutes like an old man in a nursing home."
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