Not So Intelligent Design

Last week presidential candidate Rick Perry responded to a boy's question about whether he (Perry) believed in evolution, saying, "I'm familiar with evolution, but it's out there. There are gaps in the theory."

The governor pointed out that there are no fossils to indicate transitional mutations between animals, conveniently ignoring the mountain of evidence, DNA, bone structure, cell structure, organ functions, behavioral patterns, etc., that suggest a clear relationship among all living things.

A few days later, Perry affirmed his full faith in the gap-riddled theory of Intelligent Design.

And yet, like all believers in Intelligent design, he can cite no evidence other than devout faith, in support of his theory.

How, for instance, does Intelligent Design explain:

suicide bombers, car salesmen, theater talkers, CMO's, karaoke singers, The Situation, people who text and drive, Ryan Seacrest, indecisive salad bar customers, toupee wearers, the women of Walmart, clove smokers, nipple piercers, people who believe in holistic medicine, white supremacists, Furries, open mouth eaters, Rapturists, telemarketers, golfers who plumb bob their putts, focus group mediators, bedazzlers, fanny pack wearers, J. Alexander, beauty pageant moms, hipsters who pretend to disdain hipsters, West Virginians, international customer service representatives, enema nurses, people who say "awesome", honor killers, Digital Ninjas, Facebook meal posters, noisy neighbors, evangelical Libertarians, cheap rich people, and of course: