The high hard one

I didn't see the Major League Baseball All Star game last week, nor did I see Rod Carew throw out the first pitch. Rod, by the way, is a fellow member of the tribe and was once married to a distant cousin of my wife. For some reason this is of great import to my youngest daughter, "We have someone famous in our family?"

But I did catch the highlights of President Obama throwing out the first pitch at a game several weeks ago. And like many sports fans, have sat nervously through the embarrassing ceremonial first pitches lobbed by many a celebrity. Pitches that didn't cross the plate. Or ended up in the hands of the third base coach.

What the hell is going on with this country?

What kind of mambi-pambis have we become? Are we descendants of the same brave men and women who kicked Nazi ass from Northern Africa to the forests of Finland? Did we not put a man on the moon? Wasn't it crafty, strong Americans who developed the technology and the tools to unleash the oil trapped beneath the ocean floor? OK, maybe that wasn't a good example.

My point stands.

It's 60 feet 6 inches from the pitcher's mound to home plate.

Can't anyone bring the heat without looking like a one-legged ostrich with Tourettes?