Problem Solved

Months ago, my wife and I went on an impromptu date. She claims I'm not spontaneous enough, so I decided we'd leave the kids at home and walk to downtown Culver City for a nice a dinner.

Just before the Osso Bucco arrived, my wife's cell phone rang. It was our youngest daughter. In a panic. Complaining about some awful smell. Naturally we ignored her as she is the personification of 'the sky is falling' mentality.

But we shouldn't have.

We arrived home to find the downstairs bathroom with three inches of, how shall I say this, "muddy water." I got out of my impromptu date clothes and into my "oh shit I'm standing in shit" clothes. I also broke out the Shop Vac, which has the amazing capacity to suck up the dry, the wet and anything in between.

Within the hour and 13 towels (that went straight to the trash can) later, I had the mess completely cleaned up.

I'm no Kevin Costner, that goes without saying -- though soon he will be sporting the same haircut as mine, but I think I have an idea worth exploring during our nation's time of crises.

It's best summed up in my crude diagram below:

Of course this would have to be replicated a thousand times over, but I know those extension tubes are available -- I keep finding them all over my garage-- and this plan is ultimately do-able.

President Obama: Rahm, get me Sears & Roebuck on the line.