The Demon Alcohol

Summer is coming and that can only mean one thing. Soon our radio airwaves will be flooded with those heartbreaking commercials from the Sheriff's Department warning us about the dangers of drinking and boating.

Drinking has gotten a bad rap these days. It seems there's so many activities that should not be combined with drinking.

You shouldn't drink and boat.

You shouldn't drink and ski.

You shouldn't drink and operate heavy machinery.

You shouldn't drink and drive.

And now with the hindsight of age and a nest egg susceptible to litigation, it all makes very good sense.

Thankfully there's one activity that's a perfect complement to drinking: writing. Faulkner said, "Civilization begins with distillation." Hemmingway concurred with, "A man does not exist until he is drunk."

I like to write. And I like to drink. But since I have neither the talent or the capacity to write anything over 200 words worth reading, I engage in this blog. And as a reward for taking you along this narcissistic journey, I'm offering you the reader a unique opportunity.

This Saturday night, when my wife and kids are fast asleep, I will crack open a good bottle of bourbon and embark on some drunken haiku. The first three respondents with topic suggestions will have their poems published next week.

I do promise it will be in the proper 5-7-5 syllable formation.

But I don't promise it will be meaningful, poetic, or even good.

Because really, what haiku is?