Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The Pearly Gates


I read recently that the Mormon church was going through its vast ancestral records and issuing posthumous baptisms to Jews so that they could enter heaven. I don't know that anyone would take the time to make amends for my unsaved soul, but I'm requesting in advance, that they don't.

This doesn't apply to Mormons exclusively or for that matter everyone on the religious right, but the truth is, I have no desire to spend 5 minutes, much less eternity, in the company of intolerant, self-righteous, dogmatic people who believe their way is the only way.

Call me spiritually bankrupt, but lounging around on a cloud, wearing a white robe and listening to violin music, without the benefit of caffeine, alcohol, or prescription drugs, is not exactly how I'd want to spend my afterlife.

Besides, I've experienced heaven right here on earth.

It's driving through the Owens Valley on Route 395. It's my daughters, with their headphones on, watching a movie in the backseat of the minivan. It's my wife quietly reading a book. It's Mark Knopfler playing on the iPod. It's the snow-capped Sierras on my left. And a fresh hot latte in the cupholder on my right. That, my friends is bliss.

Too bad the drive was only 300 miles.

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