Hire the hairless

I am a bald man.

That is not to say however that I'm incapable of growing hair. To the contrary, I have hair growing off my neck, my shoulders, and my lower back. And now, fuzzy thickets are sprouting from my nose and ears.

Since I've been in full job interview mode lately, my wife thought it would be a good idea to do some manscaping.

Which, it turns out, is easier said than done.

So I took a trip to the local Brookstone and picked up a handy little gadget for the job. I love its ergonomic design, its simplicity of operation, even the way it felt in my hand.

Eager to rid my body of unwanted hair, I rushed home, popped in a AA battery and started mowing down those unwelcome follicles. Or at least I attempted to. After five minutes of jamming the device into my nose and ears, my white porcelain sink was devoid of any clippings. And upon inspection, my nose and ears were still quite Robin Williams-like in their appearance.

I was ready to bolt back to Brookstone, return the Trim-0-Mattic 9000 and give the manager a piece of my mind.

Then I discovered the gadget works a whole lot better with the cap off.