Ms. Salkin is the restaurant reviewer for the Culver City News, a rag of a paper that shows up in my driveway. Often unwanted.Ms. Salkin has apparently never met a meal she doesn't like.
Her critiques never contain any criticism. She fawns over the simplest of dishes. Sugarcoats everything. And plugs away like a reincarnated Billy Mays. She's not so much a restaurant reviewer as she is a gastric gusher.
If I didn't know better I'd say she does it all for the free lunches.
This week for instance she ventured down to the Del Amo Mall (not exactly in the vicinity of Culver City) to sample the quote, food, unquote, at Hometown Buffet.
Sadly, I've eaten at this establishment.
Years ago, while working for an ad agency with one foot already in the grave, we pitched any business that moved, including this sad excuse for a public eatery. We didn't get the account but a planner and an art director got food poisoning.
The food was inedible. But as the name would indicate, the portions were limitless.
As faithful readers of this blog know, the trip was not a total loss. Because the experience inspired my favorite poopenism,
"Excuse me, I'm going to dump all my shares of Hometown Buffet."
This borders on fraud. There is a Hometown Buffet closer to CC than Torrance. It's in Hawthorne for her information. And everyone knows that Hometown Buffet is the platform that a Mad TV comedienne used for one of her schticks. This is where people on limited income go to ingest enough food for an entire day. This is the place the Blue Collar comedians get fodder from. YOU MUST write a letter to the editor. I beg of you.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny! I read her reviews when we have nothing else in the house to read and they are dreadful. I love that you're worked up enough to write a blog post about it. If you're that bored, you should come over and try the pickled eggs that I've made but am scared to try.
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